Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Heroes, Pt. II - The Matherson

Yes Cody, you can borrow a feelin' anytime you want. You can also borrow my blowdryer. Hell, if you crashed on my couch one Saturday night in an Old Milwaukee haze, I'd even find an old t-shirt to cut the sleeves off and send you home in.

Does anyone have this album? Anywhere?

Cody is another reason I wish heartily that VH1 still answered the obvious question with their show "Where Are They Now?"

We salute you and your mullet Cody, wherever you are.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

gone Krogering

If you can't read the yellow sign, the Kroger Plus price on popsicles was 2 boxes for $2.50. There are four (4) boxes in the grocery basket carried by the femmullet above. And off she went to gather up more bargains in the frozen foods section.

Friday, October 26, 2007


Once, Mr. T joined forces with Chuck Norris to fight crime. All criminals in the known universe were instantly vaporized by the sheer awesomeness of their Mohawk/Mullet combination. Afterwards, Mr. T created Vin Diesel using a welder and a 55 gallon drum, but left him bald so that he could not challenge their hairdo supremacy.

The Grand Canyon was created when Mr. T mourned the passing of Chuck Norris' mullet. Embarassed, Mr. T established the theory of erosion.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Thundering Herd Style

We are.....mullet wearers!

This Marshall (Huntington, WV) fan proudly sports his green and his mullet on a street corner near the stadium.

Maybe he was trying to channel the rugged blonde looks of Matthew McC, who somewhat recently spent time in Huntington filming that movie, you know. Maybe he confused "rugged" with "fluffy" and "Matty Mac" with "sanitation engineer."

I'm sure there is a Mountaineer Mullet somewhere in answer to the Marshall Mullet. The difference is, a Mountaineer Mullet will never be intentional. A Mountaineer Mullet is either going to be an ironic statement or a drunken mistake. Either way, a Marshall fan wouldn't get it.

"Keep it long in the back..."

It's always nice to find a salon that cuts your hair the way you like.

It's not so nice to put your stylist in the position of giving you a mullet.

The client is always right
Friends don't let friends wear mullets.

You decide.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Have It Your Way

Because it was spotted at a Burger King on Corridor G, the Have It Your Way's origin is indeterminate. ABM cannot pinpoint with any certainty its native county, but suspects Lincoln, Boone, Mingo or possibly even Putnam.

However, that's the beauty of the Have It Your Way. A Have It Your Way demonstrates clearly the boundless nature of mullet creativity. Our subject has chosen a length that requires excessive maintenance, probably with Dep sculpting gel, and has extended that product's usefulness to the feathered upper layer, providing great lift, both upward and extending out towards the back for serious mulletude.

Note: if Dep is not on sale at the Corridor G Wal*Mart, Burger King fry grease will do in a pinch to provide the requisite glossy sheen.

Power Fall, the Mullet of Strength

"If you had $10 and could only go to a convenience store, what would you buy?"

Ask your friends this question and you are likely to receive a modicum of personality insight.

Ask the Power Fall...and what do you think he might say?

(Our first shameless solicitation for comments - GO!)

While you are pondering the question, note the strong execution of the front half of the Power Fall, the clean lines, the way the length doesn't start until well behind the ears. The Power Fall is clearly ready to take care of any and all business...but make no mistake. That cascading length promises that the Power Fall plays just as hard as he works.

Have a penny, leave it. Need a penny, take it.

Monday, August 27, 2007

A Nontraditional Start - El Conquistador

One may look closely at this picture and wonder, "Where is the mullet? I was promised MULLETS and I want MULLETS dammit!"

To that we reply, quit hatin'. Simmer down. And look closely, so that you may see something truly glorious.

Exhibit A is better known as El Conquistador, or the mo-mullet.

This rare species was tagged recently in the South Charleston, WV area. Observe the way the strip of hair trickles gracefully down over the collar of the shirt. Observe also the serious mulletude, evidenced by the arms-akimbo stance, of this no-nonsense character. A find like this may only come once in a lifetime, and we here at ABM are grateful for our field photographer's keen powers of observation, even after a margarita or dos.


A visual aid to provide scope and perspective to this project.

Saturday, August 25, 2007


Welcome one and all to Appalachia's Best Mullets! We here at ABM are excited to provide a tribute to the hairstyle that has transcended decades. Information will be forthcoming that will provide our viewers with the means to make their own submissions to our growing gallery.

Who are we? Located centrally somewhere in Appalachia, the creative forces behind ABM strive to provide the ultimate mullet experience, citing mullets from various locales. Maybe one will be your hometown....maybe our Mullet of the Month (MoM) will be YOU.

Note: we respect everyone's privacy. We will not accept photographic submissions containing first and last names, or other personal information. Please leave only first names and last initials, e.g. "Charlie M."

Thank you for stopping by and keep checking back for additions to the gallery, and to the Mullet Tales.